Mothers

[valiha]

A little over six months ago, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She had surgery, went through chemotherapy and now she’s on meds.  Her spirits are high and she’s doing well.  

Her illness got me thinking about the Mag7 and their mothers.  We know only bits and pieces about them, and they all seem to be deceased, with one obvious exception – Maude.  We know that J.D.’s mother died shortly before he headed West, that Vin’s mother died when he was five, and that Buck’s mother was a working girl.  We can assume she’s also dead, since he speaks of her in the past tense, and with reverence (She was a saint).  Nathan’s mother killed herself when she found out that she was pregnant by the white man who had raped her.  We know nothing about Chris’ and Josiah’s mothers.  

That leaves us with Maude.

We know she’d been married five times, but not which of those husbands was Ezra’s father, if any of them was.  She elicits various and often contradicting emotions from the fans.  There seem to be two views of Maude, which I will call the Viper and the Victim.  Some fans despise her for her treatment of her son, and view her as a cruel, cold, selfish creature, interested only in personal gain, a woman who will use anybody and do anything to get what she wants.  Others admire her spirit and point out that she, as a (sometimes) single mother, had to do whatever was necessary to survive and succeed in a man’s world, where being a woman very often meant being close to a slave.  They justify her behavior as her need to teach her child enough skills to not only survive, but prosper in such a world.  

Personally, I think the truth lies somewhere in between.  While I don’t see Maude as a vicious snake, bent on deliberately hurting her son every chance she got, I also don’t feel the need to justify her every action.  She obviously hurt her son by leaving him with others when he was a child, and especially by taking away his saloon from him when he became a part of the Seven.  But I never got the feeling that her goal was to destroy or punish him.  Teach him a lesson, yes.  Show him that they were meant to be on the road, doing what they did best, together.  We know they ran cons before, and while their war over his saloon is ruthless, they both go at it with their teeth barred.  I think she honestly felt that she was helping him see what his “true calling” was (“We’re business people, and we’re best at what we do.  Don’t ever forget that.”.)
 
But what is the reason for such behavior?  What would make a woman decide to leave her small child behind while she went off to gamble and make money?  I think her words in “Witness” are the key.  She tells him, I did the best I could.  I’m sorry if that wasn’t good enough, and I can’t help but think she’s telling him the absolute, honest-to-God truth.  Maybe she really did her best, and doesn’t know any better.  Maybe she honestly thinks that the way she raised her son was the right way, because just maybe, that was the way she was raised herself.
 
She’s obviously a strong-willed, tough woman, who believes that money is the only important thing in life, and that one must do whatever is necessary to gain money.  But a person doesn’t simply wake up one day and decide they will devote their life to pursuit of money.  Just as Ezra learned from his mother that money is good, and trained to use various ways to get it, she had to learn it from somebody as well.  We all learn things from our parents, and teach them to our children when we grow up.  We raise them the way we were raised ourselves.
 
I think it’s possible that she was a gambler’s daughter, learning the trick of the trade which she later teaches Ezra.  As a family trade, perhaps?  I can’t help but compare her to little Olivia, who learned to spot a double deal in prison.  Perhaps both of her parents were involved in the same trade, and got caught during one of their cons, so little Maude was born and grew up in prison?  Or maybe she had a gambler husband, who taught her to play cards, and lived a high life with her, then died in a shootout or left her with a child she had to raise on her own?  It’s always hard to go from riches to rags, and one of the worst curses in my country is, May you have everything, then lose all.  

But what of Ezra?  Why would a mother want to leave her child with others?  Why didn’t Buck’s mother send him away?  She was a working girl, and she obviously loved her son enough to keep him with her, in spite of what she did for a living.  Was she justified in keeping him by her side?  It definitely wasn’t an easy way to live, and he must have suffered being called names, maybe even beaten by some of the customers.  I imagine she must have come across some who were like that man who beat Nora in “Working Girls”.  In the end, she made her choice and kept Buck.  

All in all, it’s a rotten choice, and maybe Maude loved her son enough to keep him away from the danger of her line of work.  In a way, she was a “working girl” herself.  I can also imagine that some of her marks didn’t take too kindly to being cheated, and had no problem exacting revenge against a woman.  And while Buck’s mother probably stayed in one town, at least long enough for Buck to grow up, Maude most likely had to move from town to town, seeing as it was not very wise for a con man – or a con woman – to stay in one place for too long.  What would have happened to a child in such a situation?
 
I’m sure Ezra would have preferred to be with his mother, no matter what, but her choice was made and her bitter experience would make her teach him the same lessons she had learned.  That’s what made him into a man he became later on, and having that in mind, she must have done something right, even if it was only leaving some part of his upbringing to others.  I’m sure that, if it were all up to her, his soft heart would have been a lot harder.  

But then again, even she is not as hard as she would like us to think.  I doubt it was money that made her help Ezra with a scam to find out who was behind Billy’s kidnapping, or made her treat Nathan’s father with kindness.  Do you?

I think there may be hope for her yet. 

Comments

[wolfandboarfics.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear that your mother is doing well and her spirits are high. I wish her and your family well.

I have to say that I agree with your middle-ground reading of Maude. I really believe she was honest when she said she did the best she could. Given whatever her circumstances were, she clearly loves her son and is sometimes honestly seems bewildered when he doesn't seem swimming in gratitude for the hard lessons she teaches him. When she left him with others she clearly expected him to be able to survive on his own just in case something happened to those people. I think she has always envisioned her son growing up and being a partner for her. Like you pointed out, she expects him to carry on the "family business" and not be some boring town person plying an uninteresting trade. Being hard meant being alive in that business so I'm sure her lessons were to keep him alive even if something should happen to her. He learned early to rely on himself, not a bad trait in those harsh days.

I'm so glad you pointed out how he has as much competitive spirit as she does and will stoop to the same tricks but, she's the master and he's still the student and it's clear that, even though there are deep wounds between them, they love one another in their own Standish-y way. His letters to and from her are some of the strongest proof of that.

Thank you for getting me to think on this! I love Maude even though she really is a bit of a snake in the grass at times.

[dj-aida.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your heartfelt wishes! She's indeed feeling better every day, and continues to improve.

I think choosing the middle-ground is the best way to judge anything, if you're going to judge. Very few people are either completely good (I personally don't know a single one) or completely evil, in which case they may very well be criminally insane. Maude never struck me as being insane - calculated at times, a very shrewd business woman, controlling (both of her son and her own feelings), but not insane.

She obviously raised her son to be the same way so that he would know how to take care of himself and protect himself even without her around. Furthermore, it's possible that she left him with others for the purpose of teaching him an important lesson - there are unfortunately times when you cannot count on anyone but yourself, not even family. That is especially true for someone in her line of work. How many times had she been in danger? Any one of her cons could have ended by her going to prison, or Boot Hill. What would have happened to Ezra then?

And yes, I think it's quite obvious she expected him to become her partner. Why else would she keep inviting him to join her in her "business ventures" (Leave your dust-bowl behind, son and join me in the historic riverfront casino... -Serpents)? And oh, Ezra's competitive spirit! Just think of "Achilles" and that one-legged gambler. Ezra is like a Jack Russel terrier, when he sinks his teeth he doesn't let go!

Thank you for responding to it; unfortunately my on-line time is limited to what I can do during lunch breaks at work. Still waiting for net @ home...

I hope others will also join this discussion; I'd like to hear what those who don't like her have to say!

[seremela2.livejournal.com]

First of all I'm very glad for you and your family that your mother is on the mend! That's awesome. You must all have had quite a scare.

As for Maude, it was very interesting to read your post about her. I especially liked where you used parts of the eps to show why you think about her as you do. I fully agree with you on her and especially on her truly doing the best she could in a time where it was hard to be a woman alone. The best proof of that for me is that, despite the hurt inside Ezra when it comes to his mother he also clearly loves her a lot. Wolfandboar already mentioned the fact he writes her for instance. And he does show admiration at the end of the eps for her. Personally I love the ambiguity of their relationship, it makes it so much more real.

As for her being able to leave Ezra with relatives, I don't think it was all that strange in those days. Mary does it too; she has Billy living with his grandparents most of the time. A part of the reason that she does this isn't only that she's on her own in making a living (although she could move in with the Travis' if she wanted and the fact she doesn't is another thing that makes her atypical for those times I think), but also to keep her son safe, since Four Corners isn't a safe place to live, especially not when the series starts. I think that's a very plausible part of Maude's reason to leave Ezra behind when he was little, she's not exactly in the safest business there is after all, even if she does it with such flair.

Like you I too believe it very plausible that being a con is the family trade and Maude probably learned it from her parents. It's in the way she says "we're business people and we're the best at what we do" at Ezra. I always thought she meant more than Ezra and herself, that she meant a broader 'we'. In those days it was very common that members of a family all went into the same trade.

As for Buck's mother not leaving Buck with relatives, I think the sad truth here might very well be that she probably, if she still had relatives, was considered a disgrace together with 'that bastard of a son of hers'. So she probably couldn't even leave him elsewhere, in a safer environment, even if she wanted to. But seeing the way Buck talks about her and the kind man he has become it's clear she did the best she could and that her best must have been a whole lot!

I'm always intrigued by where the Seven come from, since mostly it's only bits and peaces we know, except with Ezra and Nathan. With them things are pretty clear. And with Josiah we know a lot as well, even if not everything like if his mother was around or not when he and Hannah traveled with their father. Chris is the only one we truly don't know anything about; al we know about him is from later on.

[dj-aida.livejournal.com]

My thanks to you as well; yes, it was very frightening, and I'm glad the worst is behind us.

I love the ambiguity of their relationship as well, and I think that the writers were very realistic in the way it was portrayed. I very much doubt that children and their mothers ALWAYS agree on everything. Even though I love my mother, there were times when we fought, had our misunderstandings, but made up too. It's all a part of the growing up process, learning to stand up for yourself and be your own person. There's a lot in Maude to admire, and Ezra is well aware of that; let's not forget that this is a woman who obviously succeeded living in a man's world under her own terms, no matter how she got there. That makes her somebody to respect, by all means.

As far as Buck and his mother are concerned, that would be mine conclusion too. Even today, and especially in more patriarchal parts of the world, girls who have children out of wedlock are shunned or at the very least, ridiculed. Their children don't have it easy either; they are maybe not treated badly by relatives, but there's nothing more cruel than when other children pick up that you're different from the conversations of adults. I suspect young Buck didn't have it easy at all. His mother (and other working girls) was probably the only one to talk to and turn to when he was hurt by the actions of others. It makes his devotion to his mother - and women - all the more poignant.

Now, it would have been great to find out more about the others, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. That's what fic is for!

Thanks for participating, I loved your conclusions as well.

[the-summoning-d.livejournal.com]

I doubt that I'm going to make much sense, since my own feelings on the matter are a little clouded, but here goes anyway.

I think Maude genuinely believes she's acting in Ezra's best interests, but her ideas of what's good for him differ wildly from his. A single woman at that time (Especially one with an apparently fatherless child) would have very few options. I'd imagine that's left her with a very harsh and cynical view of life. So of course she'd want to prepare her child for the sort of treatment the bastard son of a gambler is likely to receive, and give him a means to earn a living along the way. Yes, we hear about Ezra being left with various relatives - but I imagine wherever he was left would be a great deal safer than where she was at the time.

Also, Maude's proud as hell. Even if things didn't turn out quite like she planned I don't see her admitting it. So she's going to keep on being the same kind of mother she's always been, because changing would be an acknowlegement that she was wrong.

In short? I think Maude tries to be a good mother, but she goes about it the wrong way. She loves Ezra, but damned if she'll ever admit it.

[dj-aida.livejournal.com]

I doubt that I'm going to make much sense, since my own feelings on the matter are a little clouded, but here goes anyway.

That's perfectly fine, so are mine. I spent quite some time trying to formulate my thoughts into something I hoped others would understand. And it's strange that so many people have an opinion that's close to mine (or maybe the Maude bashers are not replying! :).

It seems that, while most people are upset about the way she treats Ezra, most of them don't feel like she's doing it out of malice, but a misguided sense of parental obligation. She does have a slightly twisted (when compared to what's considered normal) view of parenthood, the reasons of which I tried to explain above. Whether I was successful or not is a different matter.

There were some interesting theories fans have come up with over the years, and my own is very similar to what you said, about being forced to lead a harsh life. And when all you see around you is people doing whatever they can to get their hands on money, it's not going to make you a person who thinks that money should be avoided.

Hmm, it never occurred to me that Maude was a proud woman, but it makes perfect sense. I know people who would rather chop off their own hand rather than admit they're wrong. So in her experience, money = power and independence, and a way for her not to be dependent on anyone else, so of course she would teach her son to be the same way.

And while I said earlier that we are shaped by the way we are raised, we are not exactly an equal copy of our parents. I don't know whether she was a gambler's daughter, I'm just guessing. She could have been a preacher's daughter as well, or a working girl. I'm just saying that she was shaped by her circumstances, and, like you said

...Maude genuinely believes she's acting in Ezra's best interests, but her ideas of what's good for him differ wildly from his. A single woman at that time (Especially one with an apparently fatherless child) would have very few options. --- So of course she'd want to prepare her child for the sort of treatment the bastard son of a gambler is likely to receive, and give him a means to earn a living along the way.

Whether those means are right or wrong is completely irrelevant to her, since she seems to view everything in the light of survival.

Hope I made sense! :)

[the-summoning-d.livejournal.com]

Exactly! Yes, you made sense. I think all these layers and contradictions are what makes Maude such a fascinating character. Well thought out Maude-fic is a joy to read, but I object to the cardboard cut-out evil!Maude you see far too often. I suppose if you want to torment Ezra, though, she's a convenient villain.

[dj-aida.livejournal.com]

Layers and contradictions are what makes me like a certain character - the more conflicted the better. Just like real life people are not one-dimensional, fictional characters shouldn't be either, and Ezra and Maude are prime examples of multifaceted personalities. You can almost forget they are fictional characters, they feel so real!